No Wonder Why You're Insane
by Angel N Darkness
Summary: Harry remembers just why Voldemort never won a battle with him! Apparently the Dark Lord has a long-term memory problem.


A/N: This story will be a oneshot and it's for A Study of Magical Objects assignment 6 on HSOW&W! Enjoy!

 **Task #1:** Write about a character who has a terrible long-term memory (note: You cannot write about Neville Longbottom).

 **Word Count: 703**

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Harry Potter was absolutely exhausted. The war was finally over and he finally finished Voldemort off for good.

It was a long lead up to the final battle, but the final battle was not that long lasting and thankfully given its shortness there weren't too many casualties.

Harry could not help but to start laughing about how that final battle went.

"I see you have completely lost control of your mental facilities, Potter," a voice said from behind him.

Harry looked back, but even the sight of his potions master was not enough to wipe the grin off his face.

"You have to admit the battle would have taken much longer if old Voldie actually used his brain for a change," Harry explained to the professor just why he was laughing.

Severus Snape smirked in amusement, knowing just what it was Harry was referring to.

Voldemort never learned from his mistakes.

In Harry Potter's first year, he went on a long winded rant… and was temporarily defeated by Harry Potter.

In Harry Potter's second year, he went on an even longer rant… and was temporarily defeated by Harry Potter. He also lost his first Horcrux then.

In Harry Potter's third year… well actually it seems that he took that year off for a change.

In Harry Potter's fourth year, he finally got a body back… and proceeded to go on a long winded rant about the past and things Harry could not have cared less about at the time. That rant allowed him to feel cocky and superior so that he was absolutely shocked when Harry got away from him again.

In Harry Potter's fifth year, well actually that was a rant by Lucius Malfoy that caused them to lose the prophecy. Still you would think he would learn from his and his followers' mistakes, but apparently he never remembers that long winded rant will be followed by crushing defeat.

That is how we got to the start of Harry's seventh year. Voldie must have kept forgetting that ranting leads to defeat. You would think that is something that he should remember since he was trying to take over the world, but apparently that is too much for his poor brain to handle.

Instead, he showed up at Hogwarts, shortly after Harry found and destroyed his last Horcrux and the new school year began… and promptly started in on one of his long winded rants again after he burst into the Great Hall where everyone was eating lunch.

He was just reaching the part about his grand rebirth when Harry decided that he had enough listening to the insane ramblings of a mad man and fired a cutting curse, sectumsempra to be exact, at the insane dark lord's throat.

Voldie clutched his throat and he stared at Harry in shock. "But—" he croaked out with his last breath as he fell to the floor.

"But you never learned to stop ranting when you come to kill me, yes I know. That is why you are dead now," Harry said to the now dead insane dark lord. "Seriously if someone is going to try to take over the world they really need to have a better memory," Harry added as people began to stun the shocked death eaters who couldn't believe their lord fell.

That is how he found himself sitting on one of the benches in the Great Hall with the professor behind him. Aurors had soon come to take statements and Harry found that he did not want to leave the Great Hall even after he was finished with his statement. He was surprised when the Potions Master spoke to him.

"And I agree with you that to be a Dark Lord one needs a better memory, Potter," Snape said before turning a glare on Harry. "However if you ever tell anyone that I just said I agree with a Potter you will be in detention permanently," he added before he stalked off.

Harry just laughed again. He could always hope Snape's memory is as bad as Voldie's was. He decided he would not risk it since he did not want to be in detention for the rest of his life.

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A/N 2: *snickers* This one was a lot of fun... Hope you all liked it! Click the button and let me know what you think!


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